More about Christmas in Brisbane
The office Christmas party is virtually compulsory in the Australian workplace. What appears to be a casual get-together with those that you cubicle with is, in reality, a minefield of social etiquette with the potential to leave you seeking employment elsewhere.
Be yourself and have fun, but consider the many pitfalls to avoid on the night and erm...avoid them:
Alcohol
Contrary to popular opinion, you don't have to drink alcohol at your Christmas party. Contrary to the preceding statement, you will want to drink alcohol at your Christmas party.
If you do drink, your primary goal for the night is to retain your dignity. If you can't hold what you are drinking with one hand, it's probably too late for that. Hopefully one of your colleagues has enough decency to steer you into the back of a cab before you drag everyone to karaoke.
Dancing
Every workplace in the country has at least one bad dancer. Do not be this person! Those who can't dance shouldn't dance. Turn your ankle on the way to the event if that's what it takes.
Far worse than the bad office dancers are those people who can dance and who aren't shy about it. Make a mental note of these people, and take it upon yourself to swipe their stapler on Monday morning.
What to wear
Wear something, and continue to wear something until you crash-tackle the hat-stand in your own hallway. Don't let the cute guy from marketing or the humidity convince you otherwise.
This isn't the time to start experimenting with your wardrobe. If you wouldn't wear it to work don't wear it. The exception to the rule is ‘tasteful' Christmas accessories (hats, earrings etc), which are mandatory.
The photocopier
Yes. Your bum would look big on this. Nothing useful has ever been photocopied during or after an office Christmas party. Why not play it safe and promote December as ‘paperless office month' and relocate the copier to another floor, building or time zone.
Love and other catastrophes
If you have a partner, bring them if you can. If you don't have a partner, this is not the night to find one. Every now and then you will hear the tale of the couple who got together at the office Christmas party and have been inseparable ever since. This story is an out and out lie.
If you are the hugs and kisses type you are entitled to one hug and/or kiss only. Going back for seconds is bordering on adultery.
After-shocks
Despite the most honourable of intentions things can always go wrong. The question then is what you should do if you did what you shouldn't do. The answer is absolutely nothing. Hopefully you work with people that are decent enough to know how embarrassed you are and the whole sorry saga will never come up.
If it does come up, smile politely and be thankful someone didn't post your festive faux-pas on YouTube.
What are your suggestions for surviving the office Christmas party? Add your comments below.
