More and more of us are using Brisbane's public transport system to get around our city and beat rising fuel prices. But, even with the best intentions, catching public transport isn't always as easy or comfortable as it could be. Sometimes the reason for that lands very much on the shoulders of the passenger next to you who doesn't have a clue about public transport etiquette.
We might sound like cranks or crotchety oldies, but people, let's show some shared decency on our busy public transport system.
Here's how:
Move to the back of the bus or train carriage - it might be early in the morning or at the end of a long day at work but WAKE UP and realise other people are crammed like sardines. If you can, move back so there's one less person left frustrated at the bus stop.
When you're on a bus, don't stand in the space where the rear doors open. It might seem like an oasis of roominess, but standing there will cause the doors to re-open (again and again) and a buzzer to sound if the bus isn't driving. Eventually, you'll figure out YOU are causing the delay or someone will grab your arm and pull you away from the door sensor.
Invest in decent headphones. Tinny muffled sounds from loud, leaky headphones can drive everyone around you crazy. You might love the sounds of death-metal or Chinese opera but the people near you won't. Turn it down to save your hearing (and your travel neighbours' sanity) or buy decent headphones that keep the sounds for your ears only.
Don't wait to be told - body odour issues are hard to stomach on crowded public transport. If you are standing in a sea of space whilst others huddle away and breathe through an oxygen mask, you need (a better) deodorant. Take the hint…
OK, I might be showing my age here but … I glare at all those healthy school students hogging seats on the bus, train or CityCat. They travel on tickets that cost half the price of mine, plus their legs are much younger than mine. One day, I'm going to become a fully fledged cranky old woman, call their school and insist these young whipper-snappers be taught a few manners. If you're a student, get up and offer a seat to full fare paying travellers. Half the time people won't want to accept your kind offer for fear of looking old. No 'sir' or 'madam' required though when offering - unless you want to make us feel completely geriatric.
Similarly, everybody should get up to give a seat to the elderly, anyone with mobility issues, pregnant women and those with babes in arms. Do your good deed today and show the students how it's done.
Remember 'Clive the too-loud commuter' sketches from The Chaser show? Keep that in mind next time you're chatting to your new lover, ex-girlfriend or psychologist on your mobile. Sometimes phone conversations can add interest to a dull trip but then maybe your travel companions will know a whole lot more about you than is decent…
Don't read adult magazines, a wide broadsheet newspaper or catalogues for products that help irritable bowel syndrome. Privacy and elbow room is not possible.
If you have had the luxury of a seat during your journey, please don't be the first one standing and pushing into the aisle to get off the bus or train. Take a deep breath, relax for half a minute more and let the poor sods who had to stand, off first.
Don't sneeze, cough or cut your fingernails all over the place. It's gross and spreads disease (including the 'I can't bear to catch the bus anymore' virus which is no good for our traffic).
Or, if all else fails, comfort yourself with the thought that you could win any reality-show etiquette contest by maintaining poise and decency under extreme conditions. As someone polite once said 'Good manners sometimes means simply putting up with other people's bad manners.'
What
are your tips for being considerate on public transport?
My pet hate is the person who thinks their bus ticket entitles them to the whole seat. They steadfastly refuse to even look up when people stand by their seat, and give a disgruntled look when asked "do you mind if I sit here?".
Occasionally what goes around, comes around. On one trip where this happened, the last person looking for a seat happened to be a woman weighing about 100kg. I greatly enjoyed watching the selfish "seat to myself" hogger have a most uncomfortable trip home.